I was really intrigued by Molly and Harpers talk on labels at Eroticon. When I joined Fetlife I was overwhelmed by labels and not quite knowing which is what. How am I meant to know what I am? I’m only just starting. I picked one. Changed my mind. Picked another. Oh I don’t know. Why can’t I select a few? I’m definitely not that one. Perhaps that one. I want to be this one. That sounds fun. But really, which defines me? The honest answer is probably none of them. I don’t want to have to make myself fit the label, I want a label which will fit me.
I feel as though I’m still learning about labels. I loved that they [Molly and Harper] said that labels fluctuate and are organic. That it’s okay to be transient as it’s a state of exploration almost – @PlayWithChanges
Which labels interest me?
Princess by day, slut by night. I love that. Who wouldn’t want to be a princess and a slut? Although, I’d probably also want to be a slut in the day as well.
Submissive. I think it’s more the submissive tendencies which I’m magnatised towards rather than completely giving up control, but by all means spank my ass.
Bottom. I don’t like the terminology of this. I don’t want to be at the bottom per say, however the actions of the bottom echo some of mine.
Babygirl. There are parts of this which I really want. Mostly for the security. I like to be cuddled and sometimes looked after. @PlayWithChanges calls me baby, although more as endearment that any real meaning.
Brat. I hate this word. It’s from my childhood. I am not a brat, but by these standards I kind of am. I will talk back and be disobedient. I am not as willingly submissive as I perhaps ideally should be. I am not ideal.
Sadist. Sometimes I like to inflict pain on others. In a nice way. If you put your bum near me chances are I will spank it. Perhaps I just need a better form of anger management.
Dominant. I’m not given as much a chance in the bedroom at this now due to circumstance, but definitely in other areas of life I am the dominant one. That’s what I am nicknamed in a London bar actually, the bouncers call me ‘The Dominant One’. I like to be organised and have everything sorted out. I also like to do things for myself, which goes against babygirl in the being looked after parts.
That is quite a mix of different roles.
You have submissive tendencies but you’re not what I would class as a sub. You’re too stubborn. You’re a Submistress. You like control when it suits you but you also have slight sub tendencies – @PlayWithChanges
This word is made up of a few different words. The first being Sub. The shortened version of submissive, so not quite a full submission, and also with a capital letter to show some authority still. miss. I am a Miss. I always think of a miss being a bit of a madam, which joins in with the brat role. tress, a lock of hair. Play with changes loves pulling my hair. mistress I take in both meanings. A woman in authority or control, which I like to think I am, and also a woman having a sexual relationship with a married man. For one word, it has quite a lot of things to say about my relationship and where I feel I am at the moment.
I think GGG [Good, Giving and Game] describes us rather well. We are both very honest and transparent people who have no issues with communicating. We don’t have any taboos and are open to suggestions with regards to our sexual desires and fantasies – @PlayWithChanges
Communication is a huge thing for me in relationships. I’m very nosy, I want to know everything and share things which would make others gasp, ‘Did she really just say that?!‘ I’m game for trying most things, and those I’m not so sure about I’ll still give it a good go if it interests him.
I’m looking forward to seeing in a few months how much these labels have changed and transformed.
What would you label yourself as? Let me know!