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Know The Difference

Posted on Mar 1, 2013 by in Campaign, In The Media, Sex and Relationship | 4 comments

Know The Difference is a campaign by Lambeth Council targeted at men to challenge them about behaviour, attitudes and actions towards women and rape. 247 sexual offences were reported to the Police in Lambeth in 2011/12. Note, that’s only the ones which were actually reported as according to Rape Crisis 40% of adults who are raped tell no one about it.

I retweeted @itsmotherswork who quoted Lambeth Council Know The Difference Campaign “Even if a woman has come back to your home, this doesn’t give you any right to expect sex.” which provoked the response “it’s probably best not to go to a guys home then. It’s time women started taking some responsibility.”

Responsibility? For not getting raped? Shouldn’t the men start to take responsibility in NOT raping us?

It was suggested that women should not walk home alone, however 30% of the offences were committed by someone known to the victim compared to 70% committed by strangers. So you think you’re safe walking home with your friend.. but, they could well be your attacker.

It also came up about women drinking. Fuck that. Women should not stop drinking just because men can’t resist the urge to have sex with them. Look at the poster below from Warwickshire Police to “Avoid Being A Rape Victim”. What kind of message is that to send out? Women, you can’t drink, have to watch your soft drinks so you don’t get drugged and be fully sober in case a man tries to rape you. Where as men, you can do whatever you like, it’s the women who should be careful.

Thankfully Rape Crisis are there to back our corner with their poster “Drinking is not a crime. Rape is”.


Harmless fun is just that – harmless fun. Wolf whistling, jeering and making sexually provocative comments can be threatening and make a woman feel at best irritated but also scared and vulnerable. This could be seen as criminal behaviour and you could be arrested and charged. Sexual assault is any unwanted sexual activity. – Know the Difference Campaign

Now, you know I’m going to disagree slightly here. Wolf whistling. It’s a sore topic with feminists, as I once discovered. I don’t find it to be threatening at all. For me, it is banter. It makes me laugh when I get wolf whistled rather than feel threatened. I’ve watched it in so many cartoons growing up that it’s just the normal. Which of course, I’m sure you’ll tell me is demeaning to women or whatever.

Are they going to arrest the wolf now for sexual harassment? Know The Difference is there to help men acknowledge that there is a difference between friendly banter and a women feeling threatened.

“Did you know that flashing or exposure could result in two years in prison?” – Know The Difference Campaign

Oh dear. I’d better watch I don’t flash too much on night out!

A woman should be able to wear what she wants, drink what she wants and walk home at night without being raped. Simple enough.

I’ve seen women being compare to a house being locked. You should ideally be able to leave your house unlocked and know you won’t be robbed. But unfortunately its not like that and security measures are in place. So we have to lock up our vaginas?! I’m not sure I can fit a chastity device under my dress and a night out, and that would make popping to the ladies a bit tricky.

Men, you need to get your attitudes sorted out. There are no excuses. As for the whole “surprise sex” joke, its wrong. Rape is rape. Know the difference.

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  1. It’s stupid that we live in a society where the raped are meant to hold as much responsibility for what happened as the rapists themselves. Maybe if there were more people out there telling men to not rape instead of telling women how not to get raped then it would be better because you shouldn’t hold back innocent people for the possible crimes of another.

    However, I know people who think that it’s impossible for women to rape men. They literally think it never happens and think that it’s stupid for people to believe it. So maybe there’s some cultural ignorance to rape and people need to be better informed.

  2. Great piece, don’t think the poster about avoiding “being a rape victim” is that offensive, in an ideal world there wouldn’t be a need for these posters, the fact of the matter is, women are still being raped because there are scum bags out there…. Punishments should be harsher!!! But while this type of crime is continuing, surely the poster offers good advice to both women and men (which they should add) !! To me it’s simple EXTRREAMLY harsh penalties! Punish the perpetrator not the victim. Lets look at places like Singapore….

    • I will try to speak carefully here as anyone who disagrees with the prevailing thought tends to get pilloried, but, the call for harsher and harsher penalties has a steep curve of diminishing returns. Because a large % of rapes are committed by someone known to the victim, increasing the penalties may decrease the 3 of reported rapes because the victim knows, and may actually like the perpetrator.

      As a teenager I know my neighbor stole my mom’s silverware, do I want him punished, yes. Do I want him to be in jail for 20 years? No, so I report it if he goes to juvenile detention, i don’t report it if he goes to prison.

      Acquaintance rape puts women in the same dilemma. What we need, is more assured punishments. Rape cases take too long, they victimize the women, they are expensive, and many women just give up. If the justice system was more just, if cases moved faster and punishments were more reliable, even if less severe, then more women would probably report and prosecute their attackers.
      advizor54 recently posted..FFF Prompt – April 19 – StolenMy Profile

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