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A Guide To Anal Sex

Posted on Jun 5, 2014 by in Dirty Little Whispers, sex guides | 0 comments

Anal sex has become a lot more desirable in recent years, especially in porn scenes where most boy/girl scenes either end in anal sex or skip vaginal sex all together. Anal sex can be a very hot activity and feels great for most. I’m not making any guarantees for you though.

Anal sex isn’t just for male/female couples. Gay couples can also have anal sex as well as lesbian couples with the use of a strap on or toy and be whatever kind of couple you want to be. Basically, everyone can have anal sex. Woohoo! If you think anal sex will make you gay (if you are hetrosexual), you are incredibly wrong and stupid. Yes, I called you stupid.

Here’s a little bit of history for you. Hetrosexual anal sex has been around for a thousand years. Men have been performing anal sex on women in paintings and artwork in Europe, China and Japan as well as ancient pottery and sculptures in South America and the Mediterranean. Anal sex is nothing new. People have been having, and enjoying, anal sex for years and years.  Anal sex was also used as a means of birth control. Well, if you cum in someones ass you’re a lot less likely to get pregnant so wise move. Although you will still have to use a condom to protect against sexually transmitted infections. Condoms also make clean up a little easier.

So, let’s do this. First of all, please do not jump into anal like they do in porn! Not that porn stars are literally jumping into anuses. That didn’t sound right, did it? Either way, you are not a pornstar.  Make sure it is something you really do want to try. If you don’t want to that’s absolutely fine. Don’t be pressured into it, it’s not for everyone and your partner or whoever should be fine with that. If not, ditch ‘em.  If you are using a strap on dildo, please  do not chose the biggest dildo out there. Ain’t no way that’s happening.

If the thought of a cock or toy going into somewhere ‘dirty‘ makes you wince, you can use a douche or enema a few hours before sex to ensure all is clean and ready, but this isn’t a requirement. It’s quite easy and simple to do but may take a couple of turns before the water runs clear. Great if you have a medical play kink also. I tend to just have a shower and a good scrub.

For a start, you need to relax. This applies to both the person giving and receiving. If you are too tense, there is no way anything is going to go in your anus. You need to be calm. Deep breaths. If you are the one giving and panicking about it not going in, you will most likely lose your erection. Don’t work yourself up about it too much. If you’re using a toy, you may be okay, it won’t deflate as easily. But still try to not panic.

Next you need loads of lube, lubey-lubey-lube. The anus has no natural lubricant so you need to provide it with some. Using lube will not take away any of the tight feeling you are expecting so don’t try and skip this in the hope for better sex. I would say you can’t have too much, but honestly, there is a limit otherwise you would be slipping and sliding all over the place. But rather a lot is helpful. You can buy special anal lubricants which are thicker so need applying less frequently. I tend to use Give Lube Silicone+ as it lasts longer than water based lubricants which may need reapplying throughout. Please do not just spit in their ass like they do in porn, if that’s your thing then fine, but  you will still need to use some lube too. I would not recommend using a desensitising lubricant for anal sex as it makes it trickier to know if something is going wrong. If you are using a strap on for anal sex, make sure your lubricant is suitable to the toy. If your toy is silicone then do not use a silicone lubricant as it may ruin the toys material. Generally water-based lubricants are your best bet.

Make the preparation for anal sex foreplay. Include lots of kissing and rubbing to make sure you both stay relaxed and are having fun. Whilst there’s all this lubricant around, why not include a massage too? Just make sure you don’t relax too much and fall asleep.

If you’re into it, you could include some anilingus into your session. Anilingus is oral sex of the anus for those of you who are a bit like dafuq. Might as well give it a go whilst it’s all clean down there. Personally I love a tongue in my ass. Not your thing? Don’t worry, not important. Moving on…

Start small. Try and insert a finger first and see if they enjoy it. There is no need to go all the way to start with. You can just try one step at a time until you are ready. When you can take one finger, try two… Don’t worry, I’m not going to suggest in a moment anal fisting. A small butt plug  is a great way to get used to the feeling of something in your ass and to decide whether you like it or not. Then you can try a phallic object, I rather like my Icicles glass dildo for a warm up. Just ensure the toy has a flared base and made of a safe material such as glass, silicone or steel or put a condom on a cheaper toy.

Communication is very important. If any any point either of you want to stop then make it clear. You can use a safe word if you wish but be sure to both agree on this before hand and remember it, or just be very loud and say STOP. If there is any pain or bleeding then you should stop. There is nothing that says you have to have anal sex right this moment. You can stop and try again another day. Also, use more lube. Contrary to what others say, anal sex should not be painful although there may be some initial discomfort. This will soon disappear though and be replaced by orgasmic moaning.

It is also good to discuss at the start whether you are happy or not with your partner ejaculating in your ass, if you don’t agree first it may be too late during. This is completely personal preference. Personally I don’t allow it unless they are wearing a condom.

Take it slow. Don’t expect your cock to just go straight in. The ass doesn’t work like that. Slowly push it in, it’s a bit of give and take. Start with the tip and let your partner get used to it and as they relax more and get used to the feeling you can insert more. Take your time. If you aren’t getting anywhere then apply more lube and try a finger and toy again. The best positions for anal I find are doggy style and laid on my side with the penetrator laid behind me on their side but do whatever works best for you. Eventually the ass will slowly accept your cock and then you can start fucking, but of course still be mindful of the person you are fucking. Let them take a few minutes to get used to the sensation and don’t forget that the anus is very sensitive.

Can anal sex be enjoyable? Of course! You can have orgasms from anal sex, and honestly, it’s the only way I will orgasm during penetrative sex. There is a very thin wall full of nerve endings between the anus and the vagina, so if you would like extra stimulation you can insert a toy or finger into the vagina or have a toy on their clit. For guys, the prostate is located in their ass and they should be getting a great feeling on their g-spot. For extra stimulation you could reach around and rub their cock, although, they could well be doing that themselves already.

Once a cock/toy has been in the ass, do not put it in the vagina before it has been being thoroughly washed/antibacterial cleaner used on toys as it can cause infections. If you have used a condom, remove and dispose of the condom and use a clean condom before continuing. Also, probably best to leave ass to mouth to the pornos.

Now what? Well you see, your partner may have just also pumped a load of air into your ass. So there will be ass queefs (because I refuse to accept that it is farting). Best thing to do? Laugh. I find it hilarious. It’s probably unavoidable so you can either die of embarrassment, (not literally), or laugh about it. If your partner also pumped his load into your ass, you may need to run to the bathroom. Cum + queef = missile. There may also be some santorum, you know what that is, right?

Ultimately, if you enjoy it, *high five*. If not, you don’t ever have to do that again if you don’t want to, but perhaps, you might like it better the second time..

As a side note, although, you genius people probably already know this. Other words for anal sex include buggery and sodomy.

So there you go, any questions?


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